mstigerfrogs's Xanga

My life sucks big blue balls...

Thu, 31 Dec 2009 23:18:44 GMT

I'm scared I'm going to lose my job. I was threatened to be fired on Christmas Eve.. from Publix for cursing.
I didn't get to see my boyfriend on Christmas and I won't get to see him today.
I just feel depressed all the time now
I still take Zoloft, but I have no insurance to go to the doctor for a refill
And I can't go see my Psychologist because I don't have insurance.
United Healthcare is what I'm supposed to have, but they still haven't reinstated me, so I'm having to just wait... Fuck you, American Health Insurance companies.
My best friend was supposed to be home for New Years, but she has to work up at her school ...while the rest of her family is having a party. Which I'm supposed to go to, but I'm going to be lonely. No best friend, nor boyfriend to hang out with D: I just want to cry about everything.
I even thought about suicide... And that's not good.
2009 has sucked so much out of my life and I have rarely any happiness.
As for schooling, I'm still working on my grades, but I keep falling back to my old routine... of not doing my work or not caring...

Anybody have any helpful points for me? Because as of right now, I feel depressed, lonely, and helpless/hopeless.

My 2010 Goals!

Thu, 31 Dec 2009 23:05:48 GMT

to spend less money (especially on myself)
to not fall back to my old ways of not doing my work (DO ALL WORK)
to keep my job
take Vitamin C and Fish Oil to stay healthy
eat healthy
get a tattoo dedicated to my Juggalo Family

Very Informative, and Easy to Read || Thank you XxFireXboltxX

Thu, 31 Dec 2009 04:54:11 GMT

Against The Grain of American Parenting Ideas : Breastfeeding | XxFireXboltxX on Xanga

What an interesting thought?

Sat, 26 Dec 2009 07:58:32 GMT

The Controversial Survey

1) Do you have the guts to answer these questions? Yes

2) Would you do meth if it was legalized? Hmm, no. Meth scares me. :(

3) Abortion: for or against it? I already have a blog about this... I don't care to get an abortion, but i'd like the option to still be there.

4) Do you think the world would fail with a female president? It would if Sarah Palin was President. That bitch scares me...

5) Do you believe in the death penalty? NO, Why kill people who kill/whatever... make them suffer.

6) Do you wish marijuana would be legalized already? Yes

7) Are you for or against premarital sex? I am for, but... really I'm not sure about in general.

8) Do you believe in God? I believe in God, but i am not religious!

9) Do you think same sex marriage should be legalized? Yes and No... I gotta do research before I decide.

10) Do you think it’s wrong that so many Hispanics are illegally moving to the USA? No

11) A twelve year old girl has a baby, should she keep him? I just don't know...

12) Should the alcohol age be lowered to eighteen? No, maybe for Military personnel though. I'm scared that the cost of insurance will go up...

13) Should the war in Iraq be called off? Yes...

14) Assisted suicide is illegal: do you agree? Not really

15) Do you believe in spanking your children? I believe in positive reinforcements :) with a negative reinforcement if the kid continues to be naught.

16) Would you burn an American flag for a million dollars? No - but i'd like to burn all rebel flags...

17) Who do you think would make a better president? Somebody that is like our founders of the USA, idk?

18) Do you think Obama will be killed? I hope not, but it's likely.

19) Should child predators be forced to wear signs identifying themselves? Probably, but why just child predators. Why not sex predators in general?

20) Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers? No, it's the internet.

Personal Information...

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 05:04:38 GMT

I've been through a lot this past year - I got introduced to the underground... (ICP, Tech N9ne, etc.) And I got rejected by the people who introduced me to it. Lost a bunch of friends. Got lied to ... and pretty much raped - I feel like I was because he just fucked me in the ass... didn't try to please me or anything. So anyway, the dude who did that - he said his name was Mark and that he was 25 - lied about both those. He's actually 33 < and his name is Gregory Allen Martin and he was my neighbor until recently, so I've been told that he moved. Well, I am glad he moved but the memories are still there and haunt me cause it happened in my house. I told him the truth... told him who I was... I put a lot of Trust in people, but he fucked my life over. And that really screwed up everything about me. I no longer trust people. I don't like being called Princess because that's what he called me by... To Catch A Predator sorta relates to me - only I'm not a minor. I'm 20. I've talked to the sheriffs department about him, but I did not tell them about him fucking me in the ass. Probably cause my dad was sitting next to me... And I still don't understand why I "allowed" him to do that to me.

Abortion, A Touchy Topic (Reposted)

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 05:04:29 GMT

Abortion is a very touchy topic for all of us.

I recently had a fight with my mom about abortion because she is Pro-Life, and I am Pro-Choice. But to me the whole Pro-Life issue is just crazy. First of all, my mom said she'd support abortion if the women was raped, but only if she took the "morning-after pill." After she kept going on and on about her stance on these issues, she then proceeded to say that Partial-Birth Abortions are murder, which I do believe it is, but if the women already is in the process of abortion because she chose to have one... what about that is wrong? I don't like abortion, but I do want the choice around. I thought America was supposed to be free? And why is it that people care about other people's choices?

[I have got to bring this point up: so why is it that most Pro-Lifers support war? That isn't pro-life.]

"Abortion Was Legal

Abortion has been performed for thousands of years, and in every society that has been studied. It was legal in the United States from the time the earliest settlers arrived. At the time the Constitution was adopted, abortions before "quickening" were openly advertised and commonly performed." So why is it that abortion became illegal?

"Making Abortion Illegal
In the mid-to-late 1800s states began passing laws that made abortion illegal. The motivations for anti-abortion laws varied from state to state. One of the reasons included fears that the population would be dominated by the children of newly arriving immigrants, whose birth rates were higher than those of "native" Anglo-Saxon women." That seems like an odd reason to me.

"Back-Alley Abortions
The prohibition of legal abortion from the 1880s until 1973 came under the same anti-obscenity or Comstock laws that prohibited the dissemination of birth control information and services.

Criminalization of abortion did not reduce the numbers of women who sought abortions. In the years before Roe v. Wade, the estimates of illegal abortions ranged as high as 1.2 million per year. Although accurate records could not be kept, it is known that between the 1880s and 1973, many thousands of women were harmed as a result of illegal abortion.

Many women died or suffered serious medical problems after attempting to self-induce their abortions or going to untrained practitioners who performed abortions with primitive methods or in unsanitary conditions. During this time, hospital emergency room staff treated thousands of women who either died or were suffering terrible effects of abortions provided without adequate skill and care.

Some women were able to obtain relatively safer, although still illegal, abortions from private doctors. This practice remained prevalent for the first half of the twentieth century. The rate of reported abortions then began to decline, partly because doctors faced increased scrutiny from their peers and hospital administrators concerned about the legality of their operations." (www.prochoice.org) So overturning Roe vs. Wade will help get rid of abortions? I think not.

Another fun fact: "The 1973 Supreme Court decision in Roe v. Wade made it possible for women to get safe, legal abortions from well-trained medical practitioners. This led to dramatic decreases in pregnancy-related injury and death." (www.prochoice.org)

If you wish to tell me your beliefs on this issue, do not attack my words. I do have freedom of speech, and so do you. Please, if you have something to say, think about it before you post.

Your Plans?

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 05:04:08 GMT

So what are my Xanga readers doing for the holidays this year?

Through A Rapist's Eyes! (This is NOT a Joke)

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 03:56:01 GMT

Through a Rapist's Eyes (This is No Joke)

When this was sent to me, I was told to forward it to my lady friends, but I forwarded it to most everyone in my address book. My men friends have female friends and this Information is too important to miss someone. Even if you have read it before, there is no harm in refreshing your memory. Please pass it along and share it with your children.

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1. The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2. The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.

3. They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse, or doing other activities while walking because they are off-guard and can be easily overpowered.

4. Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between - 5: 00a.m. and 8:30a.m.

5. The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store parking lots . The number two: office parking lots/garages. Number three: public restrooms .

6. The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.

7. Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.

8. If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9. These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas , or other similar objects that can be used from a distance , in their hands. (Keys are NOT a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.)

10. Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it? , or make general small talk: ' I can't believe it is so cold out here, “We're in for a bad winter.” Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.

11. If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP! Or STAY BACK! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

12. If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes), yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

13. If someone grabs you , you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them . If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the Arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY HARD. One woman in a class, this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it - it hurts.

14. After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN... I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble and he's out of there.

15. When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

16. Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings , take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!!

You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

I. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

II. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans: If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you....chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

III. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

IV. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc, and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

a. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF ! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run.. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot or parking garage:

A. Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.

B. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

C. Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)

If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times. And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, preferably in a zigzag pattern!

As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP! It may get you raped or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well-educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

(Edit: Follow your instincts. The point that is made here is to be cautious, and call the police.)

Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her 'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.'

The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.

Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby --- This should be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was mentioned on America's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana. I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as well.

Edit: I am aware that some of these could be Myths or that they won't work on every rapist. The point of this post is to get the information out there to people who have not seen this yet.

--Also, it would be good to learn about self-defense!

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Fuck Your Rebel Flag! (My rant)

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 20:16:49 GMT

The Bulletin:

I've lived in Georgia- the south all my life, and I can't stand to see the rebel flag. To me, it doesn't represent the heritage. How can it represent your heritage cause guess what ?? Our heritage is all of different countries not "the south" You don't see people from the North flying their flag, now do you? NOPE cause guess what? It's not about heritage. The north won the Civil War get the fuck over it. Thank goodness the North won or else there would still be slavery and this wouldn't be part of America. We would have lost the southern states if the south would have won. Obviously some people don't know their history, and that really bugs the hell outta me. The REBEL FLAG is the losing flag, why would you still fly it high??? fuck that. I was born and raised in the south, but you know what? I have respect for the black people living around me. It offends them cause it practically says, "SLAVERY." I do not support slavery or the rebel fag and yes I do mean fag instead of flag.

That ends my rant.
If you don't like my opinion, you can fuck the fuck off.
It's my opinion, not yours.
Think 4 yourself motha fuckas!

(Pardon my french!)

Bulletin Comments:

Steven
Nov 25, 2009 7:12 PM

Obviously you don't know YOU'RE history. The north won because they had more money, not a better army. The rebel flag is southern heritage and does not represent slavery. It represents a time when slavery was around, but not slavery itself. I fly the rebel flag because the south would have (and should have) won if the north didn't have more money. The south was so poor we didn't have money to even have metal canteens like the north did, ours were made of wood, so that kind of gives you an idea of the money difference.So, obviously more money means more and better weapons,not better soldiers and ideas. If your against the rebel flag you are un-American and if you knew anything about politics and history you would have wanted the south to win as well. Quit riding ICPs dicks and think for yourself. Research, learn both sides, and then make a statement.

Me Nov 25, 2009 10:45 PM
I have always had this fucking opinion way before I knew of ICP, steven. AND btw, I'm in a history class right now, motha fucka! If they didn't have money... hmm, stop making slaves do shit and get afucking job, bitch!

Steven Nov 25, 2009 11:20 PM
The Civil War wasn't even about slaves. Our jobs were farming, the same way we have machines do it for us today. Slavery isnt even a bad thing, Slaves worked for food,clothes,a place to sleep ETC...So, why were they bitching about having to work. Just the same as black people today, they want everything for nothing. Also, Your history class is all material approved by the government which means its only going to fit to the jewish point of view.

Me Nov 25, 2009 11:25 PM
That's bull shit. My teacher teaches by his own standards. I never said the Civil War was just about Slavery. I said that it's because it "represents" slavery. BTW, Africans sold other Africans to be slaves to make money. I'm just saying I never fucking liked this "HERITAGE" of the south. The North won for a reason. We wouldn't be where we are today if it wasn't for that win. Think about it. We don't even use our books in history class.

Steven Nov 25, 2009 11:34 PM
Yes, but the teacher is still limited in what he knows. You seem to forget he studied the same books. If you aren't proud of your white heritage, go live in a fucking third world country and see just why we are superior and have succeeded for centuries. It isn't my fault that whites have had the smarts to create the most successful empires in the world and survive many ice ages. Also, you make a good point, Africans sold they're on people to WHITES because the Africans needed money...So lets look at this... Successful WHITE men had the money, Africans were POOR so they sold THEY'RE PEOPLE to the whites to make money. Id say the blacks are in the wrong here for sure. Selling people is wrong.

Me Nov 26, 2009 12:01 AM
And you're only limited to what you know... so what. I gathered my own opinion. I'm ashamed of the white heritage because some how some way - I cannot stand the fact that white's think they're better than other races. I'd rather be Hispanic or African or African American just to see how they have lived and actually have some solid heritage. White's don't have a solid heritage, regardless. My opinion is very strong. You let some band tell you that Whites are supreme. Well, guess what, Steven, we're not. Not all black people/African American/Africans are lazy. You've never met the people that are I guess... Go back to school, Steven. You'll fail in this economy with just a band. You say you're so supreme? So what, you are lazy for dropping out of school. Fuck the stereotypes/racial stereotypes/prejudice.

Steven Nov 26, 2009 1:59 AM
1.A band didnt tell me anything 2.I dropped out of that school to attend another school. 3.Statistics from the FBI and other organizations prove that blacks commit more crimes than whites. 4.Whites have much more heritage than any race. I suggest you study your own heritage and history.I am not lazy,I am about to attend one of the hardest schools to get into in the world because of my musical talents. You're right, not all blacks are lazy,but statisticly the majority is. I look at facts and statistics because they dont lie and for you to dishonor your own race and heritage is sickening. Another thing is African-American is bullshit, if these people are so proud of there homelands heritage...The need to go back to they're own land. Im proud of America, because i am an American. Im sad to see another white person feeling guilty because they are taught to feel that way. Maybe one day you will wake-up.

Another friend of mine(mark) Nov 26, 2009 7:54 AM

blah blah blah i kinda agree with her i was born an raised in georgia but why your silly civil war was goin on my fam from way back was in Ireland gettin they drink on so no white people arent better because i have freckles so im white and brown and i have more talent than all the other lazy ass white people of this country. north or south who gives a fuck. your flag is gay lol my flag is the shit.

Me Nov 26, 2009 11:45 AM

Whoop Whoop, Mark. That's what's up! Btw, your heritage, steven isn't American. America is made up of all different countries heritage. So go back to that country, bitch!

Kacie Nov 26, 2009 11:46 PM
LOLOLOLOL okay...

Steven Nov 27, 2009 12:33 AM
American = white. Europian-American.Europe, it has many countries inside of itself just as America has states. Also, i plan on moving to Germany anyway.

Now starts the messaging between me & Steven

Me Nov 27, 2009 9:42 AM
Really, steven...? Really? Your knowledge is ignorant. Realize that and you'll have true knowledge, haha. Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance - Confucius. Oh, and guess what? You're, in fact, wrong - America does not = white. America is very different from other countries. We have States, but all the States have to follow rules and regulations. Not one state, is totally different from another. That is for a reason. We are the United (United as key word) States of America. Not the separate states of America. I know I'm not perfect. And I know that I do not know everything. That is why I am in school. Oh, and by the way, Music is not a source of knowledge alone. All your brain knows is music. Don't say that you're right. Cause I know hella people that will prove you wrong. Dustin, for instance. YOU are the one who needs to -how did you say it again?- wake up. Not me. I am learning... you're just ignorant.

Steven 11/27/2009 11:30 AM
Do i really need to give you a full on history lesson here? also your an idiot. Music is a form of mathematics, so if all i know is music then im damn good at math. Aside from that. Go on and live your sad life of proving yourself to others to receive temporary praise. Once you grow up and understand the true meaning of life, you might want to change. As for your claims of me only knowing music, thats bullshit. I was done with highschool at age 15,went to college at 16, and now im going to be attending one of the hardest schools to get into. So look into your HISTORY before making accusations. You dont know my past and you never will. Claiming im ignorant because i disagree with you only makes you ignorant. One day you might grow up, until then...Leave me the fuck alone please. Dont bother replying because i wont read it.

Me 11/27/2009 6:02 PM

you're so lame, you deleted me cuz you can't handle the argument. You are the bigot! Fuck off!

Steven 11/27/2009 10:03 PM
Handle the argument? i can school you all day on American history,European history and pretty much any political event. I just choose not to argue with you because you curse in your statements to add dramatic effect and prove your point...Meaning you are unsure, or you fail to see the other side before making a statement. As i already said, look at both sides, not what somebody told you. Think for yourself, study on your own, then talk to me. Logical thinking will always help guide you in the right direction. Question everything and you will uncover nothing but the truth.

Also, cursing and name calling are actions of someone who is backed into a corner and has no intelligent statements to reply with. keep this in mind.

Me 11/27/2009 7:09 PM
Really? Cause words are words no matter what. Don't be a wuss and delete me. Don't put words in my mouth.

Steven 11/27/2009 10:21 PM
Hm, now your off topic. Here is a non bias point of view that proves im right...Again, non-bias, meaning it relates to BOTH our statements. please read it. http://haddox.sydlexia.com/civilwar.php

Me 11/27/2009 7:26 PM
My opinion will not change. I'll read it. I'm not off topic...simply stating something to you.

Steven 11/27/2009 10:29 PM
Im simply stating facts, not something i made up...I got these statistics and facts from our own government resources...

Me 11/27/2009 7:30 PM
Either way, I still disagree with you. But deleting me? Really?

Steven 11/27/2009 10:33 PM
OK you cant really argue with statistics...Thats a set of facts compiled over years of study...Not an opinion. i deleted you because you start drama all the time.

Me 11/27/2009 7:37 PM

No, I do not start drama.
But actually, statistics are like surveys - they aren't 100 % correct. Think about something... just cause it's on the internet and they're statistics does not mean that they are correct. I posted that bulletin to rant. Did I attack a certain individual? No, I did not. I hate The Flag, not the people. The flag needs to be burned, in my opinion. But that's not the point here. Do not put words in my mouth. Do not believe internet websites. Actually, the government is biased. They may say they're not. But there is always bias.

Steven 11/27/2009 10:40 PM
i didnt get my facts off the net thank you very much. and yes, the government is biased... against whites, and we still are lower in those statistics. My point is this, dont take fucking hand-outs,work for something like i do(i do actual physical labor jobs) and be a fucking man and stop taking the easy way out with government help.

Me 11/27/2009 7:46 PM
This person http://haddox.sydlexia.com/civilwar.php is not credible. He curses too. Didn't make him sound dramatic. I read it. This source is unreliable. Not bias, but unreliable because where's the facts? It's all opinion!

Steven 11/27/2009 10:50 PM
facts. They outnumbered the white plantation owners. Fact:They were in top form to easily overthrough the plantation owners.

Me 11/27/2009 7:51 PM
wow, two facts. Impressive.

Steven 11/27/2009 10:56 PM
those 2 facts alone prove that if blacks were smart enough or really wanted to be free...they could have done it.

What's your nickname? Who gave it to you and why?

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 04:53:04 GMT

My nickname is Kim - short for Kimberly.

I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!